Teacher to students: If you have any doubts in what I have taught so far, please ask me.
Student: Are you the Maths teacher or English teacher?
I love food and sleep. If I give you a bit of food or text you all night, that means something................english funny status
Santa goes for navy selection.
Captain: So you have come for Navy selection, do you know to swim?
Santa: If I go for Air Force selection, should I know to fly?
Yesterday is an old paper,
Today is a news paper,
Tomorrow is a question paper,
But life is an answer paper.
So write it carefully.
Man 1: Your son looks just a Xerox copy of you, from head to toe.
Man 2: Ssshhh, not so loud. He is my neighbour’s son.
How do you scold a watchman?
Editor: Why did you write the story on top of the envelope and send it?
Author: You asked me to write a Cover Story, that's why.
Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?
Usne mere dil mei apni jagah bna li,
maine bhi uski tasveer apne dil mei chhipa li,
wo mujhse apne aap ruth gyi.
Aur humne bhi
uski chhoti bahen fasaa li
Santa: I am going to buy the Taj Mahal next week.
Banta: Who told you I am going to sell it?
Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa: Ye 3 mahine mein bacha kaise ho gaya?
Biwi: Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye!
time ka pata hi nahi laga?
Nani (to a kid): Soja DIPLOMA soja!
Padosan: diploma kyo bulati ho isse?
Nani: Meri ladki College DIPLOMA lene gayi thi,
ye leke aa gayi..!!
Boy-:mai tumhare liye sab kuch chhod dunga.
girl-: Apne Dost?
Boy-: Didi ghar jao Apke papa pareshan ho rahe honge....................english funny status
If you hear the Earth laughing, it means an earthquake.
If you hear the sea laughing, it means a tsunami.
If you hear the wind laughing, it means a hurricane.
If you hear your mobile phone laughing, it means my SMS has arrived!
Santa:Give me one room with double-bed.
Hotel Manager: But Sir, you seem to be alone.
Santa: Yes. But I am married and I wish to enjoy silence from the other side of the bed!
Pappu: I love you!
Pappu: I like you!
Pappu: I miss you!
Pappu: You are really pretty!
Girl: If you don't marry me quickly, someone is saying that he will kick me.
Boy: Who is that, you dad or brother?
Girl: Neither. It's our baby in my stomach.